True bond brings inner peace and strength. Maybe it happened quickly, but she’ll always prioritize others before herself. It never mattered if it was a random stranger or a childhood friend. Her catchphrase was always “go hard or go home.”
She understood the definition of friendship and expressed it through acts of service, gifting, quality time, and words of affirmation, even though she found it hard to show her emotions. She realized that people loved differently, which made her uncertain about the feelings that came with this seemingly selfish care.
She had herself to protect; she was vulnerable and didn’t want anything to emotionally break her. She was prepared to weather every storm together because that friendship mattered. She made excuses for every action that hurt her, even though she had a bad temper and tried to walk away several times.
At some point, it was severed, something she never wanted. It shattered everything she hoped for. She was broken into pieces. It took her this long to realize her emotions were as deep as grief. At first, there was anger, then pain, and finally, peace.
The broken heart art on her wall served as a constant reminder never to give her heart away again. She never wanted to be parasitic. The one time she needed friendship and companionship, she received everything but empathy. The proof of friendship she needed was during her greatest challenges.
It was never about her; it was all about them. “I’m here for you.” Lol, yeah, right. A dark, twisted plot to spill her fears, secrets, worries, and trauma so they know what’s going on? Say sorry, laugh, and move on like she never mentioned anything. She didn’t want them to use her pain as an excuse to appear better, but it happened.
It was time to let go of the fake emotions. The charity shop would find better use for them. Let real recognize real without the need for emotional superiority. Now she mentally placed those friends where they belonged (friends of convenience), back to being strangers with the barest greeting of “hi.”
Her resting bitch face is back, saying, “THIS IS JUST ME.”
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