Crossed Fingers 

Walking into November like a queen that I am ?. Who cares if I’ve not eaten today ?actually no one ??that’s why I’m glad I’m alive, not just me but family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, loved ones including my Facebook friends?. I’m getting older every month and I’m still thankful for everything. Today is special because one of my friends close to my heart has something to share on this platform. Open your mind to new thoughts, atleast someone’s view. Her name is Nkajima Oluka. We are twinnies though our physical appearance is the exact opposite. She’s as real as I am and very passionate about some things I necessarily do not agree to. ??????

“I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one who made plans, thought of what direction your life should go, yet, none of those plans seem to have materialized, possibly due to circumstances beyond your control. I had dreams of getting a master’s degree and even a doctorate degree. Dreams of working in an international organization. Dreams of influencing the world in what little way I can, but alas here I am, no master’s degree, talk more of a doctorate degree. The economic situation in Nigeria is just tiring! So here I am, uncertain. I think about what direction to take. I know I want to go back to school but for now, it doesn’t seem likely. I’ve applied for jobs and yet there’s no positive result. I wonder, what does the future hold? I lost hope! I didn’t push myself anymore to fight for my dreams. I’d sit at home and be my worst enemy. I fed on my bitterness, I dwelt on my sadness. I reveled in all my negative feelings; I turned my back on God, angry that He wasn’t doing anything to help me.

 Oh! I’d smile and you’d think all was fine, but I alone knew what I felt. After a while, I broke down in tears and frustration. I told God I was tired. I packaged all my hurt and anger and gave it to Him. I stopped dwelling so much on my plans that were being delayed. I mean delay is not denial. I started fighting for my dreams. I found my passion in women and child rights, I decided to change environment and so I went to Lagos, I found myself doing something I never thought I could do, I went into business. I’ve sold and I’m still selling. I feel a sense of satisfaction, people encourage me and say what I good step I’ve taken. I have something else cooking in the oven and maybe if Aniekan lets me, I’ll tell you guys about it when it’s done cooking.

 Why this story? Well, we make plans, we have dreams, and sometimes they have to be put on hold. Don’t sit and feel sad and sorry for yourself, get up! Do something, anything that can influence your life positively, take that risk and do that business you never thought you could do, take a step back from the situation. Sometimes, when you look too closely, you miss the lesson. I took a step back and realized that while I’m in this period, I’ve grown and learnt so much. A lot of you may relate with my situation, but I’m just going to tell you just as I’m telling myself that we’ll come out of this stronger. We’ll get to achieve our dreams, just don’t sit and wait people, get up and do something. After all, I repeat delay is not denial.”

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