“My eldest sister was a single mum who had her child when she was 17, my mum had a small shop outside our house where she sold small provisions but that wasn’t enough to provide for my large family of four girls and one boy with a dad that wasn’t working. We couldn’t even afford the luxury of three square meals. I wanted more for myself, I had to get it through any means. I regretted not being a wealthy kid to flaunt every piece of item I owned. That was the kind of life I wanted…”
I grew up in the suburbs of Portharcourt but close to the Riverine area. I had a hard time coming in terms with the kind of family I grew up with. I thought everyday what were my parents doing that they couldn’t be like other politicians. I was almost depressed, I tried acting like I was cool with appreciating where I stay but come to think of it, I never felt good. I wanted my own room, my own clothes without sharing with my sisters. I was the last child of my family but that didn’t entitle me to any privilege. The secondary school I went to was just ‘alright’, atleast I was one of the hottest girls in my class. I felt I was wasting my light skinned complexion, 5″8 height and perfect model looks staying around them. I had to manage being friends with them for six years.
I should have been born with a golden spoon or even a diamond spoon because silver won’t do for me. I and my immediate elder sister sang in the choir but that churchy lifestyle wasn’t for me either. I felt trapped, I needed to see the world, I decided to try and fit in at all costs. I had to get classy, look for rich people and make them my friends. I started spending every dime I had on fine clothes and shoes even though they were cheap.
I lost my dad when I turned 17. I felt so sad but not so bad because it gave me the opportunity I always wanted to be free. My mum and sisters weren’t strict and I was quite stubborn. It worked for me ? I got strategic spots to meet those kind of friends I craved for. Genesis Deluxe Cinema was one of them, I had the opportunity to meet some girls who were into modeling. They were hot and believe me I wanted to be that and more. I was quite close to Amy, a rich girl in church. She had a genuine heart and I respected our friendship. I was probably close to her because of her designer clothes and shoes but what I felt for her was deeper. She was true, we hung out a few times, dated the same circle of guys and I had sleepovers in her house. She got admission into a private school and I was all alone once again.
“Serendipity is the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. It’s finding out things valuable or delightful without searching for them.”
I started skipping choir rehearsals and went to church once in a month. To be very honest I didn’t feel bad, like seriously I was 18 and I felt like an adult. I started going for parties and clubs in GRA almost every week. One of those parties, I got introduced to a fashion designer who promised me to feature as one of his models in the Lagos Fashion Week, I was super excited. I’ve never been to Lagos and I was going to use a plane which made the proposal more interesting. Without asking I offered him my virginity and the next three days I didn’t hear from him again. I was deeply hurt so I went to an upcoming modeling agency and registered, got my pictures taken and did some horrible fashion works. Amy called a few times and I felt ashamed that I haven’t achieved so much, I kept lying to her I was going to travel out of Nigeria for my modeling stuff. I doubt she believed me because I know she’s really smart. Jamb didn’t favour me either, I became lost. I met a guy that was willing to spend so much on me and take me around anywhere I wanted in Nigeria. My new friends said I should go with him that it was an opportunity I can’t miss out on. We travelled to Abuja, went shopping and since he was working, I’d be in the hotel all day and when he came back, we’d have sex. This went on for like a week and I wasn’t comfortable anymore, so he introduced me to some girls in Abuja that were ‘supposed’ models but more like ‘runs girls’. I got some ushering jobs from there. After 4 months, I felt I should go back and see my siblings. I’m sure they gave up on me because none of them were interested if I was even okay or not.
I became classy to some extent atleast I could spend up to 30k in one night. I got introduced to white guys. They paid a lot after the sex and gave extra benefits. I got iPhone 6 when it came out. I stopped attending church except I was really forced to. I travelled to Paris and celebrated my 22nd birthday there, I started taking weed (marijuana). I and Amy stopped talking for a while, I became too busy to even notice. She graduated and started her youth service. I wasn’t ashamed anymore because I felt established. I could drive, I had all the instagram celebrities as my friends, got admission into Uniport. This was my new lifestyle until I turned 24 and I was accused of stealing cocaine by one of my friends. I don’t take drugs, everyone turned against me. I had to sell every item I owned to pay back for it, I spent over 1 million naira. I was back to being broke because I couldn’t stand my supposed friends. I started looking for ways to get back to my lavish lifestyle.
Last year I ran into Amy at the Portharcourt mall, I’ve not seen her since I was 18 and I was totally excited even though she didn’t show she was happy to see me. I told her I was coming to her house to spend the weekend. In my mind all I wanted was connections with rich guys. I went to her house and she confessed she’s pleased to see me looking so good. And I was not doing bad from all my snapchat stories and Instagram. That was when I confided in her that it was all fake and I was totally broke. Amy was pretty but not tall or skinny, she was a fashionista, had her Msc degree, was working and was in a serious relationship. I felt jealous when I noticed that she always prayed in the HolySpirit and read her bible often. I didn’t smoke when I was with her even though she asked me about my bad habit. She asked me what went wrong with everything.
I can’t remember when I broke down and started crying. I told her how I hated the fact I wasn’t rich and how it ate deep into my self esteem, that’s why I wanted to be famous and rich. Amy reassured me that even though money is necessary that it doesn’t guarantee happiness, she told me how she has had her own share of ups and downs and I shouldn’t look at her life as perfect because it’s far from it. We got talking till like 5am that day and I realized a lot of things I’ve missed these past years. I could be anything I wanted without getting it through the wrong way. I could have fabulous, beautiful friends without entering the wrong crowd. I could be a commercial model without having to pose nude for pictures. God knows I wept bitterly, I followed her to church on Sunday. I dressed properly than I have in over 7 years. Everyone was talking about me, I was too sure about that, people came to hug me. I was still scared if I could fit into God’s presence. Yes I did ??????
Went back to my choir, graduated that year from Uniport with B.Sc in International Relations. After 3 months back into the church fully committed, I met one hottie that just came from Jand, he expressed how much he was surprised to see someone as beautiful as I am serving God passionately and still able to look and dress so well. In my heart only if he knew what the past years of my life were like. We got talking for a while, he travelled for 6 months and when he came back he was giving me this ???. I almost missed out on my destiny chasing other things. I found true love. Yes we are married now and I have a son Mikel ❤️.
“THE EFFECT BY WHICH ONE ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLES UPON SOMETHING TRULY WONDERFUL, ESPECIALLY LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ENTIRELY UNRELATED”.
Nk Let it find you…
Let us learn to appreciate little things and small beginnings. No one chose the family they were born into. Support your family and always trust God for better things because there is no easy way out. The first time I ever came across the word Serendipity was in 2009 when I read Serendipity by Fern Michaels and I fell in love with it.
Send me your own story firstname.lastname@example.org, you’ll be anonymous except you wish not to be.