I’ve never been the conventional boring person but recently I’m like how do I put up with my boredom, talk more of the people around me. I am going to write today like this is my diary. I’ve been observing social distancing in the real sense with almost everyone. Most days I’m just confused. What next? And then what? I can hardly think of the next thing to do. My emotions are everywhere causing havoc. I’ve tried registering for a course on Udacity, resuming my forex trade, writing, etc. The problem is that I lack the motivation.
It’s a month since my graduation. I remember when I laid down on my bed on my grad day feeling so anxious about my life and I started crying just because I was expecting one mail. No one could console me. I couldn’t eat or think. I remembered I had to be grateful for the small wins but it was almost impossible then. At that point my first class seemed so insignificant to me because I had a crave that I wanted to be satisfied immediately. In little things learn to give thanks. That wasn’t what was on my mind then. I was even giving God a timeline for my prayers to be answered which didn’t even feel right one bit. But I just wanted to be heard and feel at peace.
I really wanted 2020 to be the happiest year of my life but the months became unbearable at some point. I didn’t have a concrete plan but God always pulled me through one way or another. I’ve moved from house to house even after I lost hope on my accomodation problems. I thank God I’m in a chilled place with people that are dear to me. God kept friends in my life to encourage me in my down moments.
I’m really grateful for my family and the constant support I got from them all through the year. My friends both the ones physically with me and those far away, were part of the contribution to the big picture I created for myself. I’ve made a lot of mistakes this year I wish I can erase but I’ve learnt a lot from them. I’ve challenged myself to rejoice and be happy in the midst of everything: good times, bad times, rejections, breakup, loss of a loved one etc.
I am confident and convinced that He who has started a good work in my life will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ. Cheers to the last month 🥂
P.S: I didn’t like my grad pictures so I didn’t bother posting them before now.