“I can’t even believe you’re really getting upset over this small issue. This is something that can be settled without raising your voice and giving me life warnings. I’m sorry. I don’t just want to have any argument with you.”

How many times do you have to apologize for something that you’ll laugh over with your friends but you keep apologizing to a particular person because that person sees it as an entitlement and your responsibility. Sometimes we keep narcissistic friends or date them just because we can’t stand the thought of being without them.

Sometimes you realize the relationship isn’t healthy and don’t want to call them out to their bullshit. Even when you do, they don’t want to hear what have to say or they’ll make it about you being in the wrong and play the victim. Once again you’ll realize you’re being manipulated.

Anyways watch out for these signs:

  1. They lack empathy: Ofcourse before you call someone your friend or date the person, at one time the person treated you right or acted like they actually cared about you. They were charming AF. They call and text all the time. They give you reasons why they feel you guys are compatible especially if you’re smart or special in some sort of way. This doesn’t last because you can’t fake character for long. Don’t stress it, once you do something that disappoints them, it’s all out. You’ll  try to equate their reactions to someone that should care/love you. You’ll try to reason what exactly you did, this has nothing to do with you but their beliefs. Don’t think that’s all because you’ll know more as the relationship progresses. 
  2. Emotional blackmail: Your weaknesses will definitely be used against you especially something you confided in them. You’ll end up vulnerable. They know what’s going to break you. 
  3. They keep talking about their accomplishments- This is great. Often times very exaggerated just to make them feel better and makes them look fulfilled.
  4. They end up picking on you- You have to keep apologizing for little mistakes you take as a joke. You always think of the appropriate response not to hurt the person and then make excuses for their behavior. 
  5. Sometimes you aren’t even dating them but they expect that treatment with rules and regulations. This is a red flag. You can leave without being damaged. They’ll want all the intimate and emotional benefits. You know you have to go. 
  6. They’re right about everything and don’t apologize- They’ll never take responsibility for a part in an issue. They felt you caused their reaction. Good friends and partners realize the importance of relationships and try to fix it. 
  7. Don’t think they’ll change: They say all the right things and promise they’ll change. Maybe they will, maybe not but run as fast as you can out this relationship. Sometimes they actually do when they’ve lost the person they really care about. When you move on, they feel so much hatred and anger. They say the worse things to you.  They’ll make sure you get hurt for abandoning them. They can even get physical.

You can’t change people by loving them. I hope you’re loved well and right because it really matters. Set yourself free. Leave broken hearts for 2019. Merry Christmas.

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  • Reply
    Oluwatobi Shoyele
    January 15, 2020 at 11:06 am

    I’m on the look out for narcissists. I have jotted things down from this.

    • Reply
      January 26, 2020 at 2:32 pm


  • Reply
    January 26, 2020 at 5:48 am


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