Loss, Grief, Love, and Life

These four words—loss, grief, love, and life—are deeply intertwined for me. Whenever I reflect on one, the others inevitably come to mind. They are interconnected, each shaping and defining the other in profound ways.  

Loss is the end of something whether relationship, dream or a phase of life. For me in recent times, has often represented what could have been. It is filled with endless “What ifs” of life ranging from unspoken words, missed choices or opportunities that linger in my mind:  

*What if I had taken that other job?

*What if I had accepted that person just as they were?

*What if I hadn’t said those words?

*What if I had used my money differently?

Loss carries with it the weight of uncertainty. It is the projection of possibilities that never came to pass and the haunting of the paths not taken. Loss has taught me to confront my vulnerabilities and reassess my priorities. Yet, not all losses are negative. Some of my losses have been my catalyst for growth where there is bittersweet realization of letting go what no longer serves me and give room for new experiences, even if it is accompanied by regret. And it is this regret that often leads me to grief. 

Grief is the emotional aftermath of loss. It is a storm of feelings—sadness, anxiety, contempt, shame, anger, disgust, guilt, fear of moving on, and even depression. To me, grief is terrifying. It is a dark, overwhelming space where my mind is consumed by one relentless question: How do I escape this? How do I stop these thoughts from taking over?

Grief is unpredictable. One moment, I might feel a fleeting sense of happiness, and the next, I am blindsided by a memory tied to what I’ve lost. It could be triggered by a scent, a song, a gift, a photograph, or even the familiarity of a street or town. Grief hurts deeply because it makes you feel trapped, as though there is no way out. It shakes your confidence and makes you question the decisions that led you to this point.  

But then there is love, a universal language that transcends pain. The kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13—patient, kind, and enduring—has the power to pull me out of grief. Love has a transformative power. When I love, I forgive. When I love, I feel capable of achieving anything. If my heart weren’t so weary from the weight of loss and grief, perhaps I would move beyond theorizing about love and embrace it more fully in practice. Love makes me feel alive. It reminds me that life is worth living.  

And that brings me to life, the essence of my being. Life is the foundation upon which loss, grief, and love exist. Without life, I would not experience the depth of these emotions. Over the years, I’ve watched my life transition through different seasons, each with its own challenges and triumphs. Life is fragile and fleeting, and I want to cherish every moment of it.  

When I navigate loss, grief, and love, one thing remains certain: I am alive to experience it all. This realization fills me with gratitude. Life offers hope—hope for the future, hope for redemption, hope for reclaiming what was lost in even greater measure. For this, I am thankful. Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of life.  

In the end, these four words—loss, grief, love, and life—are far more than abstract concepts. Each one, in its own way, form the story of my journey, a story marked by pain, healing, connection, and the enduring gift of being alive.