New world this could be fun

“Fear just exist in your mind, it’s not real. What can’t get you in the light can’t come after you in the dark”

This pretty facade is gradually wearing off

I’m not a child anymore but I’m still scared of the dark

I dread when it’s sunset and there is no power

I think of everything happy and everyone I love and eventually sleep off.

What am I scared of?

I don’t want to ever be alone. Why do I have a lot of friends and still feel the only companion I have is my soul?

Why do I get anxious that starting something will make people laugh at me and it won’t pull through?

Let me try and remember what exactly I fret about

Can it be losing someone so dear to my heart or a family?

What about building dreams that never materialize?

And not being the person I want to be?

Or believing my life can end in a tragedy?

Scared of the invisible?

Why am I so pessimistic and not confident about the future?

My fear is undefined

What I fear most is never hearing the sound of my true inner voice and what it wants.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

-Joshua 1:9

Like 95% of the people I talk to tell me “you’re weird”. Most times from our first conversation but it will definitely come up.

I even feel weird that’s why I deliberately act weird.

What do I want? I wish I knew but I want to try things.

Recently I see a different person in the mirror everyday. I dunno what’s up with the hair thingy or learning several courses at the same time. Maybe I’m just the da Vinci of my time and everyone is calling me strange. Exploring a new world of everything which could actually be fun.

I’m finding it consternating sometimes but interesting.

Trying something requires courage which is a benefit on its own. I’m learning everyday. Believe me it’s keeping me away from boredom. I’m used to be a routine lover but I’m getting spontaneous.

And finally, Brethren, I’m seeing growth.

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation —

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—

of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me”